Welcome to the latest edition of True Romance. It’s the second week of June, and I’d much rather keep things light and fun, but I don’t call the shots. Romance does. And if romance decides that we need to take a difficult look inward, that’s what we’re going to do.
How far are you willing to go for your significant other? Are you willing to throw everything away for them? Would you, for example, take them in your patrol car, (allegedly) fool around, then toss your bodycam into a lake?
Not everyone would. That’s where the look inward comes into play, but that’s not the only topic of discussion. Did you hear the big news in the world of romance this week? No? Well, that’s why you keep coming back week after week, isn’t it?
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True Romance is a weekly column that goes wherever the romance takes it. (Getty)
Besides the accused officer in trouble and the tantra and lube cruise (more on that in a minute), Mike Vrabel and his wife “were a united front,” according to TMZ, while celebrating their son’s engagement over the weekend.
Is it too far to be digging into his son’s engagement for proof of “a united front?” Some will likely say it is. I’m not one of them, but that’s only because I can see straight through to the romance. If they can make it, and so far it looks like they are making it, then anyone can.
That’s called hope. That’s called unconditional love.
A lighthouse in the dark, foggy waters leading us towards safety and away from crashing into the shore. Are you inspired? I know I am. Let’s go headfirst into this inward look at ourselves.
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Police officer is fired and arrested following alleged romantic encounters in his patrol car
Are you willing to put it all on the line for your special someone? A police officer in Franklin County, North Carolina, found himself behind bars after being accused of doing just that.
WRAL News reports that Lake Royale Police officer Samuel Marcum was fired and arrested on Wednesday. His crime? You could say he loves too much. What he’s been accused of is having sex on duty in his patrol car.
The arrest warrants reportedly say that while he was an officer, he threw his bodycam into Lake Royale to allegedly hide the fact that those romantic encounters took place in his patrol car while he was on duty.
A police officer was arrested and fired for allegedly getting it on in his patrol car while on duty. (Getty)
Marcum initially said that he lost his equipment during an ice storm. He changed his story on Saturday, June 6. In the new version of what happened to the missing bodycam, he admitted to tossing it into the lake.
He reportedly said he did so because he was scared of possible disciplinary actions for allowing his girlfriend in his patrol car. He now faces several charges.
Among them are charges of obstruction of justice, making false official statements, injury to personal property and conduct unbecoming of a police officer.
The investigation is still ongoing, but he’s already sacrificed so much for love. At the very least, he allowed his girlfriend in his patrol car and at the most, if the accusations are true, he had sex in the vehicle while on duty.
This could easily be any of us who follow our hearts.
This Week In True Romance
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A naughty cruise set sail this week
I saw the “sex cruise setting sail” headline that also made mention of “tantra, lube and no single men” and thought that this has to be more fun than setting sail on a poop cruise. I’m sure the two cruises have similarities.
This so-called sex cruise left port on Tuesday, June 9, I bet that wasn’t an accident, with a planned voyage from Barcelona to Monte Carlo and stops in Florence and Portofino.
The activities aboard the ship aren’t your typical ones that provide the perfect environment for brawls and backed up plumbing. Killing Kittens, a kink-positive event company, whatever that means, set this thing up.
They have swinging events that include the popular White Party, a masked ball, a primal soiree, a latex-themed event and more, according to Metro. This sounds like a wild ride, but there are rules.
A naughty cruise set sail this week, but what happens on that cruise may or may not stay on that cruise. (Getty)
You’re not set free on a boat at sea to do anything you want. You can’t reveal the identity of anyone at the parties on board the cruise. You have to be honest. You can’t make up a story about your current relationship status.
Also, there are no solo men allowed to roam around at these things. You can’t even get on the cruise without your wife or girlfriend. And don’t assume it’s a naughty cruise, so there’s no dress code.
There is, this is a classy, all-inclusive cruise. You have to take your nudity to the designated areas.
There are cooking classes, wine and whiskey tastings, sunrise yoga and other distractions, so you can pretend that going on a sex cruise is a completely normal experience. Which, for some, it might be.
I’d assume, much like other cruises, not everything that happens at sea stays at sea. You can follow the rules all you want and still come away with an outbreak of some kind.
That’s one of those unfortunate similarities with traditional cruises. Best of luck to these folks.
What is something that is considered unconventionally attractive, but you find REALLY attractive?
Good news for people with eyebags and nervous tics. And for those with facial scars, freckles, a lazy eye, big ears and big teeth, there is someone out there for you.
I have some proof of that. Now, if you’ve got some other “unconventionally attractive” attributes that outweigh having a lazy eye, for example, then you might run into some trouble.
But let’s not focus on that. Let’s focus on the positive and go out on a high note. Here’s a list of things, and there are many more, that people on Reddit consider unconventionally attractive, but they find really attractive.
- Natural/personal/original teeth; not perfect, industrial, radioactive white. Eye bags. Nervous tics.
- Facial scars. I like a woman who looks like she survived some s—.
- As a man in his late 40s, smile lines. I love that women my age have them. It sounds like a corny line, but I’ve always considered them to be trophies of a life well lived. If you’ve spent enough of your life laughing and smiling that you have permanent reminders of it, you’ve lived your life well and you’re the kind of person I want to be around. Also, I don’t know who decided freckles should be covered up, but I’d love to have a strongly worded conversation with them. From a dusting across the bridge of the nose to full head to toe ginger, I adore freckles.
- an ugly laugh. if a girl snorts when she laughs or sounds like a dying bird or whatever, I find it so cute
- People with brown eyes often say they wish they had blue eyes, but I think brown eyes are soooo pretty
- Awkwardness
- Not me but if you have a lazy eye or speak impediment my sister is sold lmao
- Long eyelashes on men. A bit envious but also makes their eyes look prettier.
- Nerds. I love nerds.
- a lot of girls like guys who are “smooth” but I prefer guys who are at least a little nervous to talk to me. it shows that’s genuine and he is probably not a player
- Big ears and big teeth
- When a person is left handed
- Bald men, I don’t care what others think.
- A raspy voice
- Thin men. Gymbros do nothing for me. Gimme a man who looks like he needs a meal.
- Bold social behavior. Saying things that may be a tad askew or out of pocket. So encouraging and inspiring to bring out all of myself
- crooked teeth
- Thick eyebrows
- My boyfriend is a bit chubby, he calls it his “orange cat bod” and idc whatever body beauty standards is trending I LOVE THAT MAN AND HIS ORANGE CAT BOD. He’s very cuddly. He’s like a teddy bear.
- Stretch marks specifically around the hips and thigh area. I think theyre just so chefs kiss
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Now if you’re not ready for the weekend after that, I don’t know what to tell you. We can always try again next Thursday when we navigate the world of romance. In the meantime, feel free to reach out, anonymously if you prefer, at sean.joseph@outkick.com.
Send me whatever you want. Hate mail or even things considered unconventionally attractive, but you find REALLY attractive. I’ll take it all. Also, go follow along on Twitter and on Facebook. The DMs are always open.